Saturday, August 6, 2011


Throughout my trials (especially this year), I've learned to never say, "It's not fair. Why me?" And I'll tell you why.

It may seem easier to have the perspective of, "Why me?"... I've been a faithful, active member of the church my whole life. I went to seminary, I read my scriptures, I say my prayers, I keep the word of wisdom, I was married in the temple to a worthy returned missionary.... I do everything I'm "supposed" to do. So why am I being tried like this?

To start my explanation, I have another quote tidbit from Elder Nelson's conference talk that I so heavily referenced in my "secret to strength" post.

"Think of the intense and impassioned prayers of the Prophet Joseph Smith during his dreadful days of incarceration in Liberty Jail. The Lord responded by changing the Prophet’s perspective. He said, “Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” If we pray with an eternal perspective, we need not wonder if our most tearful and heartfelt pleadings are heard."

I have been given these trials to give me experience, to make me a better mother, to prepare me to be sympathetic for others who go through the same things. They will be for my eternal good. What if I end up in some sort of leadership calling? (not an announcement or an invitation for a new calling please) I would need to be able to understand and effectively provide help and support. I certainly wouldn't wish my trials upon anyone else. I would never want another mother to have to lose a newborn and a pregnancy in 6 months. It's crappy. But, I'm not the first to experience these losses, and sadly, won't be the last.

But apparently, I can handle it. Apparently, I have been blessed with the strength that makes me capable of handling these particular trials. (Truly, not trying to sound like I'm bragging, just trying to make sense of it) What if this happened to someone else and they weren't able to keep an eternal perspective? What if instead of me, it happened to someone who would shut themselves off from Heavenly Father? How awful would it be if this broke them? I understand the blessings of the temple and the sealing power of the Priesthood. I know my family is forever. My trials are certainly difficult, but they will not break me. I won't let them.

"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end, they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." Mosiah 2:41

All the trials that have already come and will come in the future are shaping me into who I'm supposed to become. My trials have been such a source of strength for my testimony! Not before much testing and trying of course, but eventually.... I have grown closer to my Savior and my Heavenly Father because I've had to. More so, I've chosen to take that path. I could have gone off the deep end and let myself drown, but instead I reached out for the life support of the gospel.

A good friend posted this on her facebook a couple of weeks ago and it brought me a lot of comfort.

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland

I feel so lucky to have been blessed with the ability to keep an eternal perspective. I may not know exactly how things will work out in the eternities, but I just have to trust that they will, in fact, work out. Those who are given difficult trials, will be given the strength to withstand them. That's the perspective I have chosen to have and it has made all the difference.


Kaylani Austin said...

I love your "perspective" and I share it. A friend of mine shared her experiences of growing up in Bosnia at the beginning of the war and shared the following quote, "If we were all to put our trials on the table, we would surely look at everyone else's and pick ours back up and move on." You are a great example, Rebecca, and I love you.

Jenna said...

I love that quote Kaylani shared. It's so true.

I have been thinking lately why I have it so easy. I see all the pain my friends and family are suffering with and I wonder, "Why NOT me? Am I not strong enough? Righteous enough? Can I not be trusted?" It was actually bothering me quite a bit when I realized the other day, God IS trusting me to use the ease of life -- spiritual, emotional, physical -- I've been given to lift my brothers and sisters up. This is not to say I won't be blessed with difficult trials down the road, but for now, I have it good and it's my responsibility to do something with it! "For him unto whom much is given, much is required."

The Gatherers said...

Throughout your time with Brigham it brought back so many painful memories of losing my Bailey. I told my husband, it isn't fair that you had to lose a child, I never wanted this to happen to anyone else. He told me it wasn't fair for me to wish away you losing Brigham, that wasn't the Lord's plan for you.He told me to see how much strength and perspective losing a child has brought me. How much better a person I am because of this trial. How unfair it would be if no one else would ever be able to experiance the blessings that come with loss. I knew he was right,I knew I would never trade knowing and loving my little girl, and having her spirit in my home for anything in the world ,and neither would you. I knew that even though this is the most difficult trial the Lord can give a mother that with it comes such countless and incredible blessings. Your strength and spirit of service have been so inspiring to me, thank you for sharing.

Henderson Family said...

I thought you might like to know that your name and Justin's are both on the prayer roll. You've been in our thoughts and prayers. It's interesting how refiner's fires of all sorts can turn us into the people God wants us to become. The blessings that we sometimes "want" are not the ones we always get because they are being replaced with even greater blessings, disguised as trials. That doesn't really make any sense, but someday we'll look back on the things we've experienced in life and understand the "why" it all happened. Only then will we see what God has made of us and all the "greater" blessings he has in store for us.