Perspective

Throughout my trials (especially this year), I've learned to never say, "It's not fair. Why me?" And I'll tell you why.

It may seem easier to have the perspective of, "Why me?"... I've been a faithful, active member of the church my whole life. I went to seminary, I read my scriptures, I say my prayers, I keep the word of wisdom, I was married in the temple to a worthy returned missionary.... I do everything I'm "supposed" to do. So why am I being tried like this?

To start my explanation, I have another quote tidbit from Elder Nelson's conference talk that I so heavily referenced in my "secret to strength" post.

"Think of the intense and impassioned prayers of the Prophet Joseph Smith during his dreadful days of incarceration in Liberty Jail. The Lord responded by changing the Prophet’s perspective. He said, “Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” If we pray with an eternal perspective, we need not wonder if our most tearful and heartfelt pleadings are heard."

I have been given these trials to give me experience, to make me a better mother, to prepare me to be sympathetic for others who go through the same things. They will be for my eternal good. What if I end up in some sort of leadership calling? (not an announcement or an invitation for a new calling please) I would need to be able to understand and effectively provide help and support. I certainly wouldn't wish my trials upon anyone else. I would never want another mother to have to lose a newborn and a pregnancy in 6 months. It's crappy. But, I'm not the first to experience these losses, and sadly, won't be the last.

But apparently, I can handle it. Apparently, I have been blessed with the strength that makes me capable of handling these particular trials. (Truly, not trying to sound like I'm bragging, just trying to make sense of it) What if this happened to someone else and they weren't able to keep an eternal perspective? What if instead of me, it happened to someone who would shut themselves off from Heavenly Father? How awful would it be if this broke them? I understand the blessings of the temple and the sealing power of the Priesthood. I know my family is forever. My trials are certainly difficult, but they will not break me. I won't let them.

"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end, they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." Mosiah 2:41

All the trials that have already come and will come in the future are shaping me into who I'm supposed to become. My trials have been such a source of strength for my testimony! Not before much testing and trying of course, but eventually.... I have grown closer to my Savior and my Heavenly Father because I've had to. More so, I've chosen to take that path. I could have gone off the deep end and let myself drown, but instead I reached out for the life support of the gospel.

A good friend posted this on her facebook a couple of weeks ago and it brought me a lot of comfort.

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland

I feel so lucky to have been blessed with the ability to keep an eternal perspective. I may not know exactly how things will work out in the eternities, but I just have to trust that they will, in fact, work out. Those who are given difficult trials, will be given the strength to withstand them. That's the perspective I have chosen to have and it has made all the difference.

It Got Worse

I'll try to be delicate in this post, but just be warned, some things can't be rose-tinted.

Last Wednesday at my ultrasound, we found out the baby was measuring behind and there was no heartbeat. However, I had not actually miscarried yet. It's better in the medical/health sense for my body to miscarry on its own, without having to be pharmaceutically or surgically induced. So we were waiting to see what my body did. I had another doctor's appointment set for the next Tuesday. Over the weekend, I had started to miscarry on my own a little. Just some occasional light cramping and spotting.

Instead of going home Sunday night like we'd originally planned, we stayed at my parents into Monday so I wouldn't have to be home alone with Carrie in case something happened. On Monday around dinner time my cramps were severe enough that I would have to stop to take a few deep breaths during them. They were not unlike contractions (which makes sense), coming and going. Around 9pm, the official miscarriage was over. I went to bed about 11:15, knowing I would need to get up in the night to go to the bathroom.

I woke up about 1:45 and went into the bathroom. I was suddenly losing tons of blood and clots. Ridiculous amounts. After a couple of minutes I was feeling dizzy, weak, and then.... Nauseous. Nauseous like I'd never felt before. Luckily our bedroom at my parents house was the one right next to the bathroom. I quickly reached out into the hall to knock on the door very loudly and call out Justin's name with just enough time to turn back to the toilet and start violently throwing up. Which of course, made me start losing even more blood. So I sat back down and speed mumbled to Justin to grab me a bowl to throw up in. It. Was. Awful.

By the time things settled down a few minutes later, I was sweating like I'd just run a marathon and felt like I was about to pass out. My mom had heard me knock and yell for Justin and had come in to help. I was leaning on the counter trying to remember how to breath deeper than a gasp when I said, "I want to go to the hospital"....

I didn't think I could stand up to walk, even if my mom and Justin were fully supporting me so I crawled with them next to me until the top of the stairs where my dad and Justin gave me a quick blessing. My dad carried me down the stairs on his back and then picked me up to carry me to the car.

When we got to the ER, my mom ran inside to get a wheelchair. She told the nurse, "My daughter miscarried last night and now she's gushing blood and vomiting, I need a wheelchair!" The nurse came out to get me and as she was wheeling me inside, told the front desk clerk, "Register her". It was music to my ears. There would be no triaging.... I was getting admitted...

They checked vitals while they got me registered; My blood pressure had dropped to 84/50 and my oxygen kept falling to the high 60's, low 70's. I was starting to shake from the shock. They got an IV started and gave me some zofran for the nausea. Then they did what I consider to be a halfway D&C. I had no pain medication (my blood pressure was too low for that), but they were using monster q-tips and forceps with gauze to "clean things out" down there. It was extremely painful, but fortunately only lasted a few minutes.

I had an ultrasound which concluded that my miscarriage was complete I shouldn't have any more episodes of such extreme hemorrhaging or clots. My blood pressure never got any higher than 90/64 while I was there, but after just over 3 hours, they released me to go home. We got home at 5:30 am and went back to bed. Justin went into work a few hours late and my dad got up with Carrie so the rest of us could sleep. I didn't get up until almost 11:00, walked downstairs, flopped onto the couch and slept again until 2pm. My mom brought me and Carrie home just in time for me to go to my follow-up appointment with Justin.

My Hcg lab levels showed on Thursday morning: 3477, Monday afternoon: 1247, and Tuesday early morning: 793. The doctor said the levels dropping the way they were was reassuring that there isn't any tissue left, but I'll have to repeat my levels every week until they show less than 5. Seriously, I hope the worst is over. I'm feeling a little better today. I'm still ridiculously tired, but I'm up and moving around. My mom stayed the night and will be here all day today to take care of us.

Carrie was so excited that my mom was staying. We realized that my mom has put Carrie to bed here many times before, but she's always been gone by the morning. This morning when Carrie woke up, she was calling out for grandma. I went into her room, told her grandma was downstairs and then watched to make sure she got to the right room. My mom said she ran in, jumped up on the bed and squealed, "I just can't believe it! You're in my bed!!" It was really convenient to be so close to family this weekend.

Backtracking a bit, Monday right after dinner, Justin and I went to visit Brigham and take the new bouquets for his grave.

I sat down and started cleaning off his headstone like I always do when I noticed that all the headstones in babyland were very dirty. (Remember, babyland is like the little "gated community" in the cemetery for babies and small children) I think they'd recently come in with the lawn mower and weed whacker, and all the headstones were covered in dirt and grass clippings. I felt bad, I wanted them all to be clean and pretty :(

So I called my mom and suggested an FHE project for everyone. I had them bring brooms, wet rags, and a garbage bag. We picked up loose flowers and garbage from all over babyland, and swept off all the headstones and sidewalks. Most of the graves there have little toys or stuffed animals on them. We wiped them off, stood them up and made everything look nice and pretty.

It was a wonderful feeling to leave those graves looking so nice. Even if their families don't necessarily notice that someone cleaned them, I hope they notice the peaceful feeling that comes with cleanliness and order.

**A quick side story that inspired my cleaning idea: On Saturday we helped at a close friend's Eagle Project at the Mesa Cemetery cleaning headstones and taking pictures of them to be turned into some place that enters the records into computer databases. In our first few headstones, we came to the grave of a baby. I got down on my knees and started extra cleaning this one; Making sure all the long grass around it was picked and everything looked nice. I mentioned out loud that I was doing a little more because it was a baby one. My mom said, "Yeah, cuz we....." Then she suddenly stifled an "Oh my gosh" and a laugh. We were confused.... She was cracking up and finally told us, "I was about to say, 'Yeah, cuz we love dead babies!' " She realized how wrong that sounded, but we all thought it was entertaining since we knew what she really meant. :)

Anyways, we had a rough weekend, but also had a rewarding service project in the midst of it all. And truly, I've never felt so good about a service project as I did about cleaning those headstones in babyland. Go do something for a friend in need. It brings such a spirit of peace into your life that cannot be found any other way. We're in a tough place, but we're feeling pretty good for now. We have so many family and friends who love and support us and are praying for us. We can feel the Holy Ghost comforting us and we know everything will turn out for the best.

The Secret to Strength

I've had several friends ask about, or comment on my strength through these tough trials this year. I've heard "How do you do it?" a lot. It's really not a big secret though.

*FAITH*

I could say it's that simple and be done, but I'm sure a lot of you would like me to elaborate.....

Here's an example of some of the comments I've received over the last several days:

-You are the rock that cannot be moved.
-You guys are strong enough, so you get the challenges and blessings that Heavenly Father has to offer.
-Only a wonderful person such as yourself could be faced with such sadness and still see the light at end of the tunnel.
-Keep your chin up and stay strong, you're good at that. Just keep enduring.
-Stay strong, you've been blessed with a sweet daughter, and you'll have more.
-You are such a strong woman and a testament of faith
-Your faith has inspired me and so many other, and most days, I don't know how you are so positive or can even get out of bed.
-You have amazing strength that I could learn from.
-Your amazing faith and understanding through all of this is a testimony builder for me.
-I love how you always keep an eternal perspective.
-You must have a reserve of strength to be able to handle things the way you do.
-You are such a wonderful example to me of faith in the Lord and his timing.
**And my favorite one from one of my cousins**
-If you get any stronger, I might suggest wearing a leotard and cape.

Anyways, the point of re-posting pieces of comments was to point out how many people seem to be amazed at us. And I'm definitely not trying to brag, I'm amazed that they feel that way!! There is nothing extraordinary about what we're doing! We're just regular people trying to get through life and the trials we've been given!

I've learned that nothing will get better if I throw myself into depression, become a hermit and quit trusting in Heavenly Father's plan for me. In fact, I know it would get worse.

My quickest explanation of how I get through things like this is easiest said in list form.
-I go to church
-I say my prayers
-I read my scriptures
-I count my blessings
-I put a smile on my face
-I don't deny my trials
-I cry because the loss is real
-I hug my husband
-I hug my daughter
-I spend time with friends
-I serve others
-I let others serve me

Basically I try to do the things I've already been taught to do my whole life. There are two things specifically on my list that I want to expand on a little. First, "putting a smile on my face". It's scientifically proven that just using the muscles that make a smile, even if you're actually in a bad mood, releases endorphins in your brain that increase happiness. You can be angry, grumpy, sad, whatever. If you put a smile on your face, even a fake one, your brain doesn't know the difference. It will help you feel better. I promise.

Secondly, the "serving others" part. We've always been taught that service makes you happy. On Friday I was skimming a magazine article at the doctor about how doing physical work with your hands, being productive, accomplishing things, and seeing the results actually triggers more "happy chemicals" in your brain. Our bodies are hard-wired to work. The author referenced "Little House on the Prairie", and how their family always seemed to be so happy and content with life. I know they're TV characters so they'll be whatever the writers tell them to be, but the point was, they worked with their hands. Our world has become so technologically involved that people hardly "work" anymore. So if you didn't believe what the Prophets and other church leaders have been saying forever, believe this scientific proof; SERVICE MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!

A couple weeks ago a friend somewhere referenced Elder Russel M. Nelson's most recent General Conference talk titled, "Face the Future with Faith". This weekend, I found the Conference Ensign and read his talk which can be found in full, here.

I picked out pieces though that I felt were really applicable and comforting to me. A lot of pieces....

"It is true. We live to die, and we die to live again. From an eternal perspective, the only death that is truly premature is the death of one who is not prepared to meet God"

"We do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith. Start with your children. You parents bear the primary responsibility to strengthen their faith. Let them feel your faith, even when sore trials come upon you. Let your faith be focused on our loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Teach that faith with deep conviction. Teach each precious boy or girl that he or she is a child of God, created in His image, with a sacred purpose and potential. Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed."

"Remember God's holy angels are ever on call to help us. The Lord so declared: 'I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.' What a promise! When we are faithful, He and His angels will help us."

"Unfailing faith is fortified through prayer. Your heartfelt pleadings are important to Him. Brothers and sisters, believe Him! God will heed your sincere and heartfelt prayers and your faith will be strengthened."

"Why do we need such resilient faith? Because difficult days are ahead. How you deal with life's trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth"

"Your rewards come not only hereafter. Many blessings will be yours in this life, among your children and grandchildren. You faithful Saints do not have to fight life's battles alone. Think of that! The Lord declared, 'I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save they children,' Later came this promise to His faithful people: 'I, the Lord, would fight their battles, and their children's battles, and their children's children's,... to the third and fourth generation.' "

"Our beloved President Thomas S. Monson has given us his prophetic witness. He said: 'I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments.' President Monson continued: 'My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.' "

"To President Monson's powerful declaration I add my own. I testify that God is our Father. Jesus is the Christ. His church has been restored to the earth. His truth, covenants, and ordinances enable us to overcome fear and face the future with faith! I so testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen."

My first Book of Mormon Professor at BYU-Idaho taught me a wonderful principle. Faith is not static. It's not something you can build to a certain level, walk away, and expect to find it the same when you come back later. Think of faith as being on a line between Heavenly Father and Satan. Satan will always be trying to pull us down. That's why if you're not working to grow it, it's shrinking. Heavenly Father certainly wants us to make the choices that will bring us closer to him, but he won't force us.

As we make the effort to strengthen our faith, it will become easier and easier. You cannot trust someone you don't know. Get to know your Heavenly Father and the Savior Jesus Christ. It's called the Plan of Happiness for a reason...

This is Definitely NOT Our Year...

If you remember, last month at my first ultrasound appointment they found a blood-filled cyst on my left ovary. When I made my next regular appointment for 4 weeks later, they wanted to do a follow-up ultrasound to make sure the cyst had gone away. That appointment was yesterday. The good news is the cyst is gone. The bad news..... so is the baby.

When I was pregnant with Brigham, I had a doom and gloom feeling the whole time. Long before we knew he had any problems. I was always antsy and uneasy. When we found out about his defect, my doom and gloom feelings made more sense.

With this pregnancy I never had the doom and gloom feelings. Until yesterday. It was about noon, Carrie and I had just gone to see our weekly summer movie and were now browsing around Hobby Lobby. I suddenly felt awful, and had a horrible doom and gloom feeling. I knew something was not right. I was silently praying (almost chant-like) saying, "Heavenly Father, PLEASE let the baby be OK, please let it be OK". After a few minutes, when nothing was immediately proving doomy and gloomy, the feeling faded and I reassured myself with a reminder that I was going to see the doctor in a few hours for my regular appointment anyways.

Today, when I told my mom about this feeling I had, she suddenly remembered..... "Dad had a bad feeling too. Almost exactly at noon. He couldn't put a finger on who, or what his bad feeling was about, but he said out loud that something just felt wrong...Off.... Like something bad was going to happen. He felt physically sick."

Remember how I was annoyed that at my first ultrasound they said the baby only measured 6 weeks when my dates said I should have been 8 weeks? They moved my due date backwards and I grumbled..... Well, this time, by my original dates (which I'm absolutely sure about) I should have been 12 weeks at this appointment, or at least 10 weeks if we went by the first ultrasound's calculations. And the baby only measured 8 weeks.

The doctor explained that miscarriage, although still difficult to cope with, is not really all that uncommon. It is usually caused by a chromosomal abnormality that disallows the body to continue to grow and develop. The fact that the baby measure 8 weeks and "should have" measured 10 weeks lead her to the conclusion that the baby stopped growing 2 weeks ago. I have a different theory though. I was thinking about it last night in the absolute middle of the night when I woke up at 2:45am and couldn't fall back asleep for two hours.

It would have been impossible for me to have only been 6 weeks at the first ultrasound. The dates don't add up. My thinking is that whatever was wrong with the baby's body, caused it to grow at too slow a rate. In the first 8 weeks, it only grew 6 weeks worth. In the past 4 weeks, it only grew another 2 weeks worth. My thinking is that maybe the baby only died in the past few days; Or my latest theory (that has only been re-enforced by my dad's bad feeling coinciding with my bad feeling) is that the baby died only yesterday around noon.

The doctor had me get my Hcg levels drawn this morning, and we'll re-draw them on Monday to confirm that my hormones are decreasing and my pregnancy is no longer viable. Either way, there was no heartbeat in the ultrasound. I have another appointment on Tuesday and if I haven't miscarried on my own by then, we will likely plan a D&C (an outpatient procedure that "surgically miscarries" for me).

As for the likely chromosome abnormality with this baby, Justin and I both had a momentary flash of "Oh no. Could this be related to Brigham? Is there some genetic incompatibility between the two of us?" I quickly quieted those thoughts as I reminded myself that they suspected chromosome abnormalities with Brigham and did an amniocentesis to rule them out. AND BRIGHAM'S CHROMOSOMES WERE COMPLETELY PERFECT. He had absolutely nothing else wrong with his body but the hernia; And obviously, Carrie is perfect. It is not dangerous or even remotely discouraged for us to try to have more children. The stumbling blocks we've had have been completely random. We will have more children. We can both feel it.

We're having a rough time emotionally, as can be expected. Another thought that came to me last night was that yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of Brigham's death. I'm pretty sure 27 is my new un-favorite number. If I were superstitious, I would think that was eerie. Instead I think it's divinely coincidental.... I think more than mourning this actual baby, I'm mourning the loss of the chance to bring a baby home.

Like I was just whining about in my last post, I was ready to bring a baby home 6 months ago. I was already a little miffed about having to wait another 13 months to bring this baby home. Now, we've been encouraged by the doctor to wait at least 3 months before we try to get pregnant again. That means even if I can get pregnant immediately, it will be another year from now before we can expect to have another baby! 18 months after we "should have" brought Brigham home.

A smaller more selfish part of me is feeling annoyed because now I don't have a reason to have belly chub... Dumb, I know, but it's just another thing to add to my list. Now I still feel early-pregnancy (or postpartum) chubby, but I have neither a pregnancy or a cute new baby to show for it.

I've never really had a problem getting pregnant, but I think I'm starting to get a sense for what couples who struggle with infertility might feel like. I know it's a little different, but I understand wanting a baby and not getting one (or in Brigham's case, not getting to keep him here). I think we've had more than our fair share of tragedies with our children this year (Knock. On. Wood.)

Thank Heaven for Carrie. I don't know how I would have handled this year without her. And of course, Justin has been amazing through all of this. I've loved to see him grow and develop as a father and be supportive and sympathetic (because he's not actually experiencing the physical pregnancies) and empathetic (because he's certainly experiencing the losses with me). We know we'll be OK, but I'm getting a smidgen sick of OK. I want to be GREAT even if it's just for a little while.

Quarter

Today I am finally 10 weeks! A quarter of the way through my pregnancy! I've been teased for "celebrating" this minor milestone with my other two pregnancies, but this time it's different.

Hopefully it hasn't shown too much on here, but I've been a little crankier than normal with this pregnancy. I feel fine, I'm not sick, mostly just a little tired, and overall I don't mind being pregnant. (I might even be teetering toward enjoying it). But I've realized a combination of things that have made this pregnancy seem to draaaggggg already.

First, I wished I had been able to get pregnant right away after Brigham died. But it took 4 months.... Not forever long, but too long for me. Even then, being pregnant again only 4 months after having Brigham gave me pretty much no time to get rid of my baby weight before I started it up again. So I feel huge for 10 weeks. I'm pretty sure I look the same now as I did at 17 weeks with Brigham. See for yourself.

This is today, baby #3, at 10 weeks:
And this was Brigham at 17 weeks......
Second, At my first ultrasound appointment they measured the baby and moved my due date backwards by 12 days! Which means I feel like right now I should be 12 weeks, not just barely 10. This also means that miraculously, my home pregnancy test picked up enough Hcg hormone at 2 weeks to show a positive result. Technically not possible. I shouldn't have been able to know I was pregnant then. (I'm still trying to figure this one out. I'm going to bring it up at the doctor tomorrow)

Third, (and what I feel is the biggest thing), I feel like I'm going to be pregnant for-ev-er.... I got pregnant with Brigham immediately after we moved into this house last April.

Everything was so crazy in his short life it kind of seems like a dream! I never got the full reality of being pregnant, having the baby, bringing him home, bathing him, feeding him, cuddling him, having him become a part of our family's home life routine....

We were ready to have a newborn in our house in January of this year, but we never got to bring him home. By the time I get to actually bring a new baby home, we'll be just a few weeks shy of living here for two years! Hence, this pregnancy feels like an extension of Brigham's pregnancy and I feel like I should be monumentally further along than 10 weeks!!

Anyways, enough whining. Happy thoughts. I'm beyond thrilled to be having another baby soon. And I'm sure it really will fly by and be February before I know it. (right???.....)

So Much Cuter When You're Two

There are several cute, short, quotable stories about Carrie at the end of the post, but first a couple quick stories from when Justin and I were kids.

Justin broke his leg falling off a table in nursery at church when he was two. He had a whole leg cast that he used to swing around and hit his sisters with. If he were to do something like that now, it would just be mean! But because he was two, it was really cute! (Although still mean.)

When I was two, I was waiting at the hospital with my grandma when my little sister was born. I had been playing with some toys in the waiting area and my grandma said, "OK it's time to go. I'll count to 20 while you clean up the toys." Apparently I turned to her and said, "No, I'll count to 20 and you clean up the toys."
How rude right?! I'm the one that made the mess! But because I was such a smarty pants, my grandma couldn't help but smile and clean up the toys while I counted.

Two year olds are just cute. And sometimes the funny things they say are enough to make you laugh until you cry.

My current favorite example, my own two year old. (surprised?)

Carrie: (Lays down on the family room floor) "I'm going to take a rest with my blankets"
Justin: (Trying to help) "Do you need a pillow?" (Waves one in the air)
Carrie: "Ummm.... No"
Justin: (had already started to throw the pillow towards her)
Carrie: (throws the pillow back toward Justin) "I said NO! I DON'T need it! I'm FRUSTRATED! You need to LISTEN to me!!!"

Me: "Carrie, it's time for dinner!"
Carrie: (runs over to the table and looks in her bowl) "Ooooo, is this mac 'n' cheese?"
Me: "Well, it's kind of like mac 'n' cheese. It's called stroganoff"
Carrie: "Oh! Hi stroganoff! Nice to meet you! I'm going to eat you OK?!" (takes a huge bite)

Carrie: (to her baby doll Wren) "You have to tell me when you need to go potty OK?"

Me: "Carrie, please come put your shoes on, it's time to go to Walmart"
Carrie: "OK, but first, I have a question"
Me: "OK, what's your question?"
Carrie: (whispering) "I love you"

Carrie: (being very grumpy in the cart at walmart)
Me: "Carrie I need you to have a happy face please."
Carrie: "NO! No happy face!!" (huge grumpy face instead)
Me: "Well where did it go?"
Carrie: (still with a frown on her face and in her voice) "I think it ran away!... Yeah, my happy face ran away!"

Today she introduced me to her new (imaginary) pet dog named Ruffie. Aparently, she's pink all over and says "ruff, ruff".

Lastly, a few more cute things with pictures to go along with them. We painted toenails yesterday and this picture is proof that Carrie has been well trained in the art of blowing the paint dry before she gets up to play.

Pulling all the cushions off the living room couch is one of her new favorite things to do and it's driving me a little bit crazy, but look how cute she is all snuggled up inside....

I saved an empty paper towel roll yesterday and gave it to her to be a "binocular". She tried to look through it with both eyes by putting it on the bridge of her nose.

When I tried to teach her how to look through with only one eye, she couldn't keep only the one eye open, so we taught her how to hold the other one shut. Looks silly, but it worked! I'm sure I looked ridiculous trying to show her how, but she just looks cute. Even with her hair sticking up all over the place from her time between the couch cushions. It's amazing!

In the Car

Because I can, here's a couple quick pics from our trip into town last night.

Carrie is still not a good napper and it shows every once in a while. At 5:30 yesterday while we were driving into Mesa she fell asleep in the car. In perfect sunbathing position. ;)

And since I already had the camera out, I decided to try to get a cute picture of us. I guess this is close enough..... :)

When we were almost all the way back home, a motorcycle pulled up to a light a couple of lanes over. It had glowing green lights in all the undercarriage stuff. It looked so cool! I tried to take a picture, but the light changed and I didn't have time to switch my settings on the camera to "it's really dark outside". I tried to snap a quick pic anyways, and got this.

Because it was so dark, the shutter stayed open for a really long time and captured all the lights in motion. I think I've found a fun new way to play with my camera!